Dec 18, 2009

Blog Hero: World Tour

Seems that blog traffic is down lately. Could be the holidays or it could be a shift in online-related activities. There are some other other reasons that have been popping up lately as well.

"I can't access your site at work." or "Some of the content on your blog is restricted where I work."

Simple solution: Do your work at while you are at work and save blogging for when you get home.

Elegant solution: I can come to your house and just tell you the shit that I normally write here. Hang out over your shoulder while I show you where to go to find the silly videos I post. Maybe tickle you in inappropriate places while you are doing it.

Here's what I'm gonna need:
  • All travel expenses paid.  Upfront. With some extra spendin' cash.
  • Unlimited access to your liquor cabinet.
  • Three home cooked meals a day.  No mushrooms in anything, please.
  • For you men, I'm gonna need some alone time with your women.
  • For you women...well, you do the math.
So if you want to be a part of the Earl World Tour, and really...who could pass this up, just let me know. 

Not while you are at work, of course.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day.  You know you want to.


Water Logged Canine said...

Mind if we dance wif yo dates?!?!

Artful Kisser said...

No worries. See you soon. But you should know all shit tends to break loose when people come to Melbourne. Just ask Tiger.

Verdant Earl said...

Doggie - Not at all. We were just...leaving. What a good idea!

AK - Hell breaking loose? I'll be there manana!

Unknown said...

Well, OK, but you yell "Surrender Dorothy" once and you ass is out of here.

/Limpy, not actually Kevin

Mrs. Hall said...

What have you got against mushrooms?

tee hee hee

and YES i wrote this at work! :)

mwwhaa haa haa!!

white rabbit said...

I think it's just a seasonal dip. People far too busy working themselves up into a neurotic frenzy.

I'm typing this at work - well it's my chambers but I don't do much work there ;)

wv: impuntam

hello haha narf said...

i'm up for just about all of that, but you are gonna have to also bring your lovely lady because i don't cook. (well, unless you consider grilled cheese and tomato soup three times a day something that you would like.)

and i also hate mushrooms.

Verdant Earl said...

Limpy - I guess that depends on how proficient your women are. ;)

Holly - mushrooms are evil.

Wabbit - Seasonal, schmeasonal. Whatever that means.

Becky - I knew you'd be down wid it. Gia doesn't cook either, by the way. I'm the cheif, er, chef in our relationship. Tomorrow morning I'm cooking breakfast for some friends of ours. Sausage gravy over biscuits, eggs, hash browns and wasabi grits. Whoa-yeah!

Bruce Johnson said...

I hate to break it to you, but my wife would put you to work doing dishes and to skip Phoenix on your World Tour.

hello haha narf said...

does gia mind if you marry me also? we could all move to utah or some such shit.

Verdant Earl said...

Bruce - that's not a part of the deal. Consider it skipped!

Becky - I'll run it by her, but she doesn't like to share her toys with anyone. ;)

Avitable said...

Do you accept all major credit cards?

sybil law said...

If I could afford it, I'd totally call your bluff!
I HATE mushrooms, too, so there's no chance of me cooking anything with mushrooms.

savannah said...

well, i'm doing this from work and eating a house burger, too! did i mention i work from home? so, yeah, come on down to savannah, give miss daisy a smile, sugar! (did i mention she's 87?) xoxoxox

ps. will there be world tour tee shirts?

Mrs. Hall said...

What is with all the mushroom hating?

Perhaps you haven't had the tasty mushrooms, the cold northern slice of love wintery goodness mushrooms at the House of Hall!

mwhha hhaa haa

Verdant Earl said...

Avitable - I prefer cash, but plastic works for me too! There's an app for that.

Sybil - Mushrooms are da debbil!

Savannah - T-shirts are a great idea. I'll put my people on it right away!

Holly - I always cringe when folks who love mushrooms try to convince those of us who think they are evil that they are otherwise. It won't work.

Mrs. Hall said...

I had a deep discussion with one of my coworkers today about xmas trees. I am a HUMONGO FAN OF XMAS AND TREES AND XMAS.

And she's all like, i don't celebrate christmas and bullshitSHUT UP LALALALALA I DON'T CARE HOW COMERICIALIZED XMAS IS


But some people are just bound to irrational beliefs, bound to old habits and being small minded and they hate christmas

or mushrooms

so, go ahead Earl, never eat a mushroom. Stay small!

Wait, wait, you're not small. You are cultured and such. gah.

ok, maybe my energy is misdirected here. I mean, we had a afternoon meeting planned and dammit it was cancelled so I've four hours of down time where my mind has been spinning.

either way. good times Earl, good times :)

Verdant Earl said...

Holly - are you comparing Christmas Trees to mushrooms? What kind of mushrooms you been eatin'?