JTTTC - New Episode tonight at 9PM EST

Hurricane Irene postponed us last week. Then this week has been a comedy of errors about scheduling it. The Colonel has a Fantasy Football draft on Sunday, so we moved it to Friday night. Then I, conveniently, forgot about it and started drinking and barbecuing with some friends.  So we had to re-schedule again...and the time is NOW!  Or, 9PM EST on Saturday. 

So pop a cocktail and join us live.  Or listen in to the podcast after.  But that's not nearly as fun. Right?  Here's the Colonel's weekly email teaser.

__________________________________________________________

Wow, now I'm nervous.   A Saturday Night in the Cornfield.    This could get silly.   I do plan on tasting many many sweet Apple Pie Moonshines and Catdaddy Cocktails for the show.   

 

Just what I need to discuss all the disappointing players during this joyous Major League season!!

 

So you think being without power is a bummer??   Imagine being on the hook for $25 million,  $50 million or even $100 million for a guy hitting under .200, or a pitcher with a 5-8 record and an ERA over 5 !!??

 

Join Earl and the Colonel for a special Friday edition of Just Talking To The Cornfield as we discuss the most 'disappointing' players of 2011.    And because both of us lost power last weekend we had plenty of time to sit up and night and think of weird and or hateful things to spew out.   Him more than me.  

 

Sit down, grab a stalk and hope to see you tomorrow night at 9.

 

 

Earl and the Colonel

 

 

http://talktothecornfield.webs.com/

 

 

 

 

Love/Hate

It was a great Yankees/Red Sox series this week.  Great for me and the Yankees, because they took 2 out of 3. Even with the Overlord Saltalamacchia holding court for two of those games. He struck out against Mo in the 9th inning in Game 3 as the potential tying run, by the way.  Just wanted to mention that.

But the game led to an interesting conversation between Gia and I.  She, rightfully so, hates just about everyone on the Red Sox squad.  I feel pretty much the same way, but my hatred is a bit different. I hate them because they play for the Sox.  She hates them because of who they are.  I think.

You see, I think I would LOVE almost all the players on the Red Sox if they were in pinstripes.  Dustin Pedroia? The guy always has the most dirt on his uniform at the end of the game and he swings harder than anyone a foot taller than him.  That translates into one of my favorite players of all-time. Jacoby Ellsbury?  All the guy does is hit, hit with power, steal bases and plays stellar defense. Duh. Adrian Gonzalez? Sweetest left-handed swing since Kid Griffey, and a great defender.  Kevin Youkilis? Sure, he's a hard-ass.  But so is Jorge Posada.  Love that shit.

The only guy on the team I don't love as a player is Josh Beckett. Hate the way that fucker pitches.  Takes soooooo long between pitches.  And he's a douche to boot, or at least he seems that way.  I hated him in Florida, I hate him in Boston.  Fuck Josh Beckett.

Jonathon Papelbon too, for that matter.

But the rest of the guys...we'll I'd be honored to have them on my team.

So hate and love?  It's all kinda subjective.

Power

It's back on.

YAY!!!!

It's been a rough week, but we also consider ourselves fortunate.  Irene wasn't as tough of a bitch as the media made her out to be.  Still, we live right on the water on the North Shore and the high tide on Sunday morning looked to be about 5-6 feet higher than normal.  The bridge crossing the harbor was under about 2-3 feet of water at that time.  Got some cool pictures of us wading across the bridge around then that I'm going to have to upload one of these days.

And the area down by the water where we normally park was under about 2 feet of water.  We moved the cars up the hill onto the street before the storm for that very reason.  The water was about 10 feet below and about 20 feet away from our back door, so we never really had much worry about losing anything to water damage.

No real wind damage either, but there were a lot of downed trees and lines all over the neighborhood.  I guess that's why it took this long to get the power going.  I dunno.  What's weird is that we did have power (and cable and internet and phone) for around 2 hours on Sunday night.  I don't know what happened in between that left us without power for almost 72 hours.  Weird.

But we stayed dry and safe and we didn't burn down the house with the candles we had going.  So, like I said, we were fortunate.

Hope the rest of y'all weathered the storm just as well.  Or were well clear of its path.

Cheers!

Hurricane Provisions

Gia went out today for some emergency provisions in anticipation of the doom that may be Irene this weekend.

Notice the empty water bottle

Let's see what we have:

• Midnight Moon Apple Pie Moonshine.
• Jim Beam Bourbon.
• Huge jug of cheap white wine.
• Catdaddy Carolina Moonshine.
• Mostly empty bottle of water.

So we're good.

Crap! I hope we don't lose power. We are gonna need a lot of ice!

Me

You know, in all this time, I don't think I've ever posted a real photo of me.  I've posted pictures with my hand or a Lebowski action figure in front of my face, but never an actual photo.  Let's remedy that, shall we.

What are you looking at?

Disgusted yet?  Yeah, me too.  That's my most recent favorite hat, by the way.  A straw porkpie job that is perfect on a hot summer day.

We were at the Bar at Husk in Charleston, SC.  A really great joint that I am going to review for y'all sometime in the near future.  In the meantime, enjoy my review of The Tattooed Moose in Charleston while you gaze longingly into my bright blue eyes.  You know you want to.

Little dog

Was down South visiting Gia's family this past weekend.  A hella time was had by all.

Except...

Well, we were left with watching her parent's little Yorkie for a few days.  He's a sweet little guy, but he quickly reminds you (or me, specifically) of why large dogs are better than wee ones. Here's a brief synopsis, bullet-style:

• He can jump up on a bed or couch, but he won't jump down.  He'll just sit there and whine loudly until you pick him up.
• He will eagerly climb down stairs, but he won't climb up them. He'll just sit there and whine loudly until you pick him up.
• His oddest behavior? He refuses to walk on non-carpeted floors.  Hard-wood floors, tiled floors, etc... He just won't cross those thresholds.  He'll just sit there and whine loudly until you pick him up.
• He never likes to be alone.  He needs to be with you in whatever room you are in.  And if there happens to be some un-carpeted territory between you and him?  You got it. He'll just sit there and whine loudly until you pick him up.

Did I mention he whines? Loudly?

Ugh...how I hate a whiny dog.

It's gold, Jerry!

Participated in an interesting episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield last night.  Normally, we have a set agenda that we try to follow.  Something like this:

• 9:00-9:10 Greetings and Salutations (whatever happened to Christian Slater?)
• 9:10-9:30 TWIB Notes (TWIB stands for "This Week in Baseball". Screw the trademark!)
• 9:30-9:35 Trivia time!
• 9:35-10:?? The week's topics.  Normally it would include a statistic or trend that one of us would want to discuss.  Maybe a segment on our "Cornfield All-Stars".  Maybe a segment of "Tales from the Cornfield" or "Tales from the Shitter"...stuff like that.

I've been in Charleston, SC for a few days, and I wasn't really eager to put any energy into doing the prep work for the show this week.  So on Saturday, when the Colonel emailed me an agenda, I greeted it with less than my usual amount of enthusiasm.

So I replied with an idea.  How about a show about nothing?  No agenda, no segments, no limits, no boundaries.  We could and would talk about anything and everything.  My co-host agreed with me 100%.  It was on.  A Seinfeld-esquian journey into nothing at all.

Seriously...it's worth listening just for the intro alone when we channel Jerry and George.

It was a hoot!

Check it out either on Talkshoe or iTunes.

I like to racism, bro!

Courtesy of Kenny Fucking Powers, with a hat tip to my bro who smells like a wet dog for telling me out it in the first place.

  

So I've been thinking that we, meaning me, should probably stop drinking during our weekly broadcast of Just Talking to the Cornfield. Because, apparently, when I get drunk I like to use racist stereotypes for comedy. Like my man Kenny Fucking Powers up there. My co-hort isn't blameless either. He likes to poke fun at the Jews. Mostly because he is a Jew, and that's what he does.

Here's some of the full-on racist comedy from last week that you missed if you haven't listened in already:

• The Colonel told a tale about a recent trip he made down to Kentucky and an unexpected hotel room visit by an young African-American woman who may or may have been a hooker.  Because everything we know about black people we learned on Living Color, we lovingly called her ShaNayNay.  Or ShaNiqua.  Yeah...
• I did a brief impersonation of this young lady where I referred to the Colonel's gleaming white mini-van of manliness* as "fly".  Ahem.
• At one point, we simulated a conversation between Albert Belle (black man) and Kenny Lofton (another black man) of the Cleveland Indians (circa mid-90's) that could have been a transcription from an episode of Oz.  The word "bitch" was used several times.
• I'm pretty sure I mimicked a Hispanic (an Hispanic??) accent at one point toward the end of the show as well.  I'm not positive.  I was pretty drunk by then.  See what I mean?

I'd say it wasn't our proudest moment on air so far. But that's what makes it so damn funny!  Well, at least the two of us were laughing at each other.  There's that.  We did manage to talk about baseball for a bit in there as well, if the racism isn't enough for you.

Check us out on Talkshoe or iTunes.  We like to racism, bro!

*I think I stole that line from Kevin.  Not sure.  Either way, I'll give him the credit.

What if they were wrong?

I'm not the biggest advocate in the world for abolishing any particular state's death penalty laws. I probably should be more concerned, but with everything else that is going on in this country and world...well, sometimes it's easier just not to think about some things.

I don't believe in the death penalty myself.  Not in this day and age.  Although I do get outraged by senseless crimes against children, and I've often thought that those found guilty of those particular crimes should be killed on the spot. But that's just frustration and emotion doing their jobs. When I calm down and really think about it, well...I just don't really feel that death as a punishment is something our government should condone.

And the biggest reason for feeling that way?  What if they were wrong?  They being the prosecution.  What can be done when we put an innocent man or woman to death? How can we fix an absolute wrong?

Like I said, I usually don't think about these things.  The death penalty was reinstated in New York in the mid-90's, but it was ruled unconstitutional in 2004.  And no amount of worry on my part is going to change the mind of lawmakers in Texas or Florida or any of the dozens of states that currently use the death penalty as a punitive measure.

I don't think about it unless it happens to come up.  And, while reading about Governer Rick Perry and his presidential bid, I came across the case of Cameron Todd Willingham.  A man convicted of arson and the murder of his children back in 1992.  Willingham was tried, convicted and eventually put to death in Texas in 2004.  One of the 234 executions that have been carried out during Governer Perry's tenure in Texas.

What if they were wrong?

It's a long article, but a chilling one.  Do yourself a favor.  Take 15 minutes out of your life to read that, then think about how it was possible for a government to put this man to death.  What if they were wrong?  What if they didn't care that they were wrong?

It's depressing as all hell...

PS - This isn't really about Rick Perry's candidacy.  I don't really have an opinion on him yet, or not an opinion I feel like sharing as of yet.  It's just something that came when I was reading about him.

America's Favorite Pastime

Todd Snider and Doc Ellis know all about it.  Hell, you should too!

JTTTC - New Episode tonight at 9PM EST

This episode may be one for the ages.  Let's hear what the Colonel has to say about it in his weekly email:

__________________________________________________________

A few little teasers about tonights show:

 

Every wonder why Jason Heyward was hitting 7th earlier in the year.   Why do the Reds bat Brandon Phillips clean-up??    Why does Tony LaRussa hit his pitchers 8th??     How come Howie Kendrick hits so low in the order this year??    

 

Lineups, not just the players but rather the order in which the players are hitting, are one of the most important weapons a manager can use in "strategizing" against the other team.   Some managers like Scioscia are good at it, some like Fredi Gonzalez are horrible, and some like Joe Torre and were simply geniuses at putting lineups together.   You have to balance your teams strengths, while taking into account the very delicate mind set of the teams hitters, all while planning moves to be made during the game, and using the starting lineup almost like setting up for a chess match.  

 

Tonight Earl and the Colonel will discuss lineups with a concentrated focus on the lineups of our favorite teams.   The SECOND PLACE Yankees and the FIRST PLACE Brewers.  Ha.  

 

We will also be doing my favorite segment, Tales From The Cornfield, this time discussing our favorite "brawls".      Thank you Earl for digging deep into your dark heart for that one.  This will lead into our Cornfield All-Star team member for which player you'd want on your team, who would "have your back" during a brawl. 

I also will be sharing a very special tale from my adventure across America this weekend, called "The Return of Shenaynay"

 

And finally, Earl may introduce a new Cornfield Contest, whereby we attempt to find a reasonable name for those top 'set-up' men, like Dan Bard and Kevin Robertson.   

 

Ought to be a rousing good time.   HOPE TO SEE YOU LATER!!

Sincerely,

 

Earl and the Colonel

 

http://talktothecornfield.webs.com/

 

 

 

 

 

Cool is fleeting

I was talking about this the other day with a friend of mine.

For a while there, back in the mid-80's, Robert Palmer seemed like the coolest guy in the world.  I don't know if he was the coolest guy in the world, he just...ya know...seemed that way.  This was during the Power Station/Riptide years.  Or year, to be more exact.  1985. 

Hell, he was so cool while with Power Station that he even made a couple of the clowns from Duran Duran look cool themselves.  No offense intended for those of you who like Duran Duran.  OK, maybe a little offense.  I'm just saying that the guy absolutely exuded cool for a brief period of time there.  Cool with a capital "holy crap, those women dancing behind him in that video are really hot".  In a distant, robotic, European kinda way.  But hot, right?

It's not like Palmer came out of nowhere.  I remember some of his solo stuff playing on MTV prior to his breakout turn with Power Station.  "Looking for Clues" and "Johnny and Mary" from his Clues album were early MTV staples (kinda) in 1981.  Check 'em out below:

OK...the first one is kinda odd. White hallway with a bunch of dudes dressed up in animal heads.  Seems like a nightmare straight out of The Shining.  Ugh...shivers.  The second one is odd too.  In an artsy, European kinda way. 

But Palmer?  He was cool in those videos.  Not nearly as cool as he would seem in several years, but you could see it coming.  Almost.

From there he did his Power Station stuff and Riptide.  Then Heavy Nova came in 1988 and he copied his "Addicted to Love" formula for the video for "Simply Irresistible".  Suddenly he wasn't so cool anymore.  After that, well...he seemed to lose his cool completely.  I don't know if he actually did, but it sure seemed like he did.

I have no idea where this came from or what I'm trying to say.  I guess it's that "cool" is a tough thing to define.  And that it's fleeting.  That's what happened to Robert Palmer.

But back in the day?  He was the bitch's bastard!*

*Stolen gleefully from Jack Warden in Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead.  That starred Andy Garcia.  He knows a thing or two about seeming like the coolest guy in the world.  For a fleeting moment, that is.

Cat Pictures

Been a while since you've seen the kitties.

There's Wolowitz...looking like he doesn't give a fuck about anything.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  He's a good soul, even if he likes to wake me up three times a night so I can pet him.  Little fucker.  He loves to lay down right there in front of the box fan.  And he is our only cat who actually likes the air conditioning in the bedroom.  He's a cool customer.  Get it?  Err...

It's just impossible to take a good picture of Gogo.  She's really one of the most gorgeous, interesting looking cats you're ever likely to see.  But she never, EVER sits still.  Always a blur of motion.  Which is why she tends to look more like Bill the Cat in pictures than the pretty kitty she really is.  This is her spot all day long.  Next to me on the desk on her lambskin.  She's also our most vocal cat.  Which is wonderful when she is sitting right by my ear and she decides to yell at me for attention.  

Bennington sure looks surprised in this photo, doesn't he?  Well, that's how he always looks.  A constant expression of surprise on his face.  Like life is constantly throwing unexpected twists his way.  Here he is laying on a snack table over by the screen door.  That's where he likes to perch himself during the day.  And he's way too large to actually fit completely on the table.  Half of his body is usually hanging off somewhere.  Then he stretches and falls off.  We all laugh.  Especially the other cats.

Ah, Bootsy.  Bootsy, Bootsy, Bootsy.  Seems like the only time he's interested in us humans is during feeding time in the morning at at night.  Then he's all up our asses.  I had to snap this picture of him underneath some furniture because he disappears during the day.  He knows he can get away with all that behavior because he's so fucking adorable.  And this is the doucher that had crap all over his ass last week.  Do ya think he appreciated me cleaning him up?  Wouldn't think it from how he treats us.

Meow.

Shark in the jungle

For a while there, I was a fan of James Patterson.  You know, the guy who wrote all those Alex Cross novels that were bestsellers.  After the first three or four of them, I started to get a little sick of the guy.  Besides the Cross novels, he was writing 2 or 3 other books each year.  Extremely prolific.  But his writing began to suffer in the process.

And let's face it...he wasn't a great writer to begin with.  And maybe it was the fault of the editor not doing their job properly.  Who knows.  All I DO know is that I started noticing mistakes, poor grammar and blatant plot screw-ups pretty soon after he began churning out all that work.  So I stopped reading him.  I figured if he (or his editor) couldn't spare the reader the time to spit out a well-written product, then I couldn't spare the time to support his work.

The same thing happened with Clive Cussler at some point as well.  For me, at least.  I mean, Cussler is formulatic to a fault.  But it's that formula that makes his Dirk Pitt stuff so entertaining.  On a beach.  In the summertime.  But it got to a point where I was finishing the book in my head after only reading a small fraction of it.  Not a lot of surprises there.

Lately, I've been reading a bunch of Lee Child.  His Jack Reacher novels.  I'm currently up to "The Enemy", a prequel novel set in 1990 published in 2004.

And I'm just now starting to get sick of his formula.  And some of Child's obvious weaknesses as a writer are starting to show.  Making his characters seem oh-so-prescient by having them predict the future military struggles in the Balkans and Iraq.  Yeah...Reacher is a God amongst men, but he really didn't need to make him any more omnipotent than he already was by using simple hindsight. C'mon...

And then there is this little passage about the M1A1 Abrams tank:

The M1A1 Abrams is like a shark, evolved to a point of absolute perfection.  It is the undisputed king of the jungle.

Now, I don't even want to get started on giving the word "perfection" a qualifier like "absolute".  Not sure the ideal of perfection can have degrees, but whatever.  I'm sure I've done the same thing many times over.

No, it's the mixed metaphor of the tank being "like a shark" and "it is the undisputed king of the jungle".  OK, the first one is a simile and the second one is a metaphor.  Whatever.  But my point is this.  How does Dell (or Random House or whomever the publisher might be) let something like that get published in the first place?  I mean, it's a simple matter of replacing "jungle" with "ocean" or "seas".  Something!

Ugh...I put down the book as soon as I read those two sentences.  I'll probably pick it up a bit later on tonight.  Because I really want to see what happens.

But Lee Child?  You're on notice, son.  You had better get your shit together.

Or else!

The wrong type

In my opinion, there are three kinds of people in the world.

1. Those who return their shopping cart to the proper designated spot for shopping carts after they unload their groceries into the car.

2. Those who make some kind of minimal effort to at least make sure that said shopping cart isn't blocking a parking spot or parked precariously near a vehicle.  Where it could slam into that vehicle with just the slightest breeze.

3. Those who just leave their shopping cart wherever the fuck they want to leave that shopping cart.  Because they are done with it and fuck everyone else.

I'm really not a fan of one of those types of people.  I may or may not wish brain cancer upon them when I go to my dark place.

My dark place isn't very nice.

PS - I guess there are technically FOUR kind of people in the world.  Some people don't do the grocery shopping at all.  But I assume they go to Home Depot or Target or some kind of super store that requires a cart.  I haven't figured it all out yet.  I'll let you know when I do.

About Last Night

Last night, depending upon your own particular criteria, may have been the best episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield ever!

Lemme explain...with bullets:

• We both were drinking. A lot! I was sipping on some Jim Beam while the Colonel did the right thing and drank some apple pie moonshine from Junior Johnson and Piedmont Distillers.  There was, of course, some stumbling and bumbling.  Mostly on my part.
• We talked about porn and fluffers.  Not in the context of porn and fluffers, but kinda in the context of porn and fluffers.  What's a fluffer?  Dear God, don't make me type those words here.
• We talked about the statistical probability of gay players in the major leagues.
• Totally unrelated (maybe), we also talked about our favorite gay crushes in baseball.
• Don't judge us!!!
• Okay...judge us.  Just do it, ya know, with some freakin' heart.
• Oh yeah...we also talked about some baseball.  A very little bit.  For about 2 hours. Yeah.

Listen in on Talkshoe or find us on iTunes.  You know you wanna!

Hell's Belle

I haven't seen an episode of True Blood since Season 1, so I missed the one from last summer that featured a song by Cary Ann Hearst.  "Hell's Bells" is the name of the tune, and it's really freaking good.

Seems like it became quite popular after being featured on that HBO show.  I didn't know that, but we've been listening to it for quite a while now anywho. And she's from Charleston, SC...so we dig.

Check her interview on NPR a few months ago below.  And then a few videos featuring her music, including the video for "Hell's Bell".  Dig times two!

Sonic Chicago-Style Dog

Here's what I want to know.

Looks, er, okay.  I guess.

Has anyone out there tried the Chicago-style hot dog from Sonic?  To be more specific, has anyone out there who knows and loves Chicago-style hot dogs tried the Chicago-style hot dog from Sonic?

And if you have, is it worth driving 10.64 miles to get them?  Before you answer, please note that there is literally NOWHERE around where I live to buy Chicago-style hot dogs.

Hmmm...maybe this should have gone on the food blog. 

Oh great...

...another distraction to waste tons of my time.

Was watching television yesterday and came across a commercial for a new service offered by our local cable provider.  On one of the channels I didn't know existed, there is a game channel hosted by TAG games.

Bejeweled, Tetris, Texas Hold 'Em, Beach Solitaire, Sudoku games, word puzzles and daily trivia/puzzle games.  A bunch of stuff. And I hate to admit it, but they all look great.  And they all work just as well with our TV remote. AND you can play against other customers in your area.

As if there weren't enough distractions on the Internet, now I've got to deal with this!  Ugh!

Crappy Monday

Not a lot of sleep on a Sunday night leads to an overall crappy Monday.

The cats made it even worse.

First, Wolowitz and Bennington tagged-teamed me all through the night with furious need of attention.  I don't really understand it.  I know that cats are nocturnal by nature, but they usually let us sleep through the night.  But Wolowitz has lately started a routine where he comes in to the bedroom and yells at me. Never at Gia...just at me. Then I have to make room for him on the bed and pet him until he falls asleep.  Which has the opposite affect on me.  But I have to do it or else he just keeps yelling at me.

When Bennington realizes that I'm awake, he comes in and decides it's time for some petting as well.  And he's got this kneading thing that he does...and he does it forever!  Like an hour or so.  Crazy!  I think I got about 2 hours of sleep in total. 

If that wasn't bad enough, I'm home alone during the day working and Bootsy comes walking by me from the laundry room where we keep the litter boxes. And he is wafting a certain...odor.  One that is thoroughly unpleasant to my nostrils.  He either took a nasty crap and just dragged the smell with him, or...

Yup...his ass is covered in shit.

He's been fighting a little cold these past few days, and sometimes it affects his digestive system in horrible ways.  That's what happened today.

That's how I found myself typing the words "best way to clean a cat's ass" into Google today.

How was your Monday?

I want to believe?

Hmm...not so sure.

There has been a rash of videos recently posted on Youtube and other sites claiming to be footage of UFOs or alien spacecrafts or whatever you want to call them.  Lately, the deal has been one video from a specific angle and then another from a totally different angle at the same place and time showing the same...ahem...event.  Then maybe even ANOTHER video from ANOTHER angle.

There are hoaxes, and then there are elaborate hoaxes.

I spend the requisite amount of time studying them and deciding that they are fake before I find out that they actually ARE fake, but I do it anyway.  For my own benefit.  Right now these fuckers are batting .000, but it ain't stopping them.

You know when I'll believe that the "event" is real?  When I see it with my own gorgeous blue eyes.  Or even as a live feed on CNN.

And then I will gladly shout in my best Will Smith impersonation "Welcome ta Earf!"

Right before they kill me and everyone I know.

How's your day going?

New Episode of JTTTC - Tonight at 9PM EST

Here we go now!


The MLB trade deadline is at 4PM EST today, so join us in the Cornfield tonight as we discuss the deals that went down as well as the deals that should have gone down.  Or maybe even the deals that shouldn't have gone down.  We'll also pile into the way-back machine to look at deadline deals from the past and their eventual outcomes.

Oh, and we are going to be announcing the winner of our nickname contest tonight as well.

In other words, it's a can't miss show.  Do it to it!

Too much to think about...

Just some quick music for ya on this Friday at the end of July.  Todd Snider with Statistician's Blues.  I feel ya, Todd.

"Now I don't know what you believe, but I do know there's no doubt...I need another double shot of something 90 proof, I got too much to think about."- Todd Snider

Contest from the Cornfield

As you probably already know listening to our latest episode of Just Talking to the Cornfield, ahem, we are having another contest/giveaway.  What are we giving away?  Why it's another jar of Midnight Moon Apple Pie Moonshine from Piedmont Distillers.  Huzzah!

All you have to do is come up with some nicknames for several current MLB stars who really need one.  Those MLB stars are:

• Andrew McCutchen - Pittsburgh Pirates
• Prince Fielder - Milwaukee Braves
• Joe Mauer - Minnesota Twins
• Jose Reyes - New York Mets
• Joey Votto - Cincinnati Reds

Sure, some of these cats already have nicknames.  But they suck. So we want to come up with some fresh ones.  And we think a jar of booze is just the right amount of impetus to get your creative glands secreting.  Ewww.

So send your submissions for all 5 players to the Colonel at zantall at aol dot com.  Don't leave them here in the comments because he is going to run them all by my blindly before the next show.  The deadline for submissions is this coming Sunday at Noon EST. 

Do it to it, kids!

To Kindle or not to Kindle

That's the question that I'm poising to you today.

I'm still not 100% comfortable with e-readers.  I'm trying, because e-books just seem to be more environmentally sound than paper books.  I say "seem" because not everyone is convinced that e-books are any greener than regular books.  That's a subject for some far more intelligent than I.

But just as my instincts shout that they "seem" to be greener, those same instincts also shout that e-books should be cheaper.  A whole lot cheaper.  And that just isn't true at all.

I've been tearing through the Jack Reacher books from Lee Child recently.  The first few I purchased from the Kindle Store on Amazon for $9.99 apiece.  Like I said, I'm still not 100% comfortable with e-readers.  We own a Kindle, an iPad and I have a Kindle application on my laptop.  The Kindle itself is the only one I kinda like, but even that doesn't feel as good as a real book in my hands.

So the next volume I went on Amazon to purchase, I wound up in their Books section rather than the Kindle department.  And you know what I found?  They were selling paperback versions of the same books for $9.99.  The SAME PRICE as the Kindle edition!!!  And I'm an Amazon Prime member, so I don't pay anything for 2-day shipping. So it really is the same price.

That makes absolutely zero sense to me.  To repeat, it should be cheaper.  A whole lot cheaper.  I don't get it. Do any of you?  Are any of you as pissed as I am about this pricing structure?  It really is infuriating.

And before any of you suggest it, I know...I could borrow the book for free from my local library.  Yes, that is the best solution of them all.  I get it.

But in the specific question of buying books new or buying the Kindle edition, where do you stand?

Something New

UPDATE - Yeah, so I screwed up. Apparently Blogger is a little clunky (go figure) when starting a new blog. They automatically set it to invite only.  Who knew?  It is now fixed.  And I am humbled. - Earl

So, several months ago I announced that I would be starting a food and drink blog and I was looking for contributors.  Well, laziness happens folks.   But now it's here!

Simmer, Sip, Share



What's the content going to be about?  Well, just about anything and everything that has to do with food and drink.  Recipes of the food and drink variety, restaurant and bar reviews, product reviews, great food and drink experiences...whatever.  I'm leaving it up to the discretion of the contributors. 

Contributors? Yeah, it's gonna be a collaborative effort too, if you will. I sent out the invites to those of you who requested it, even if you've forgotten by now.  But we want to invite anyone (cool enough) to join.  So shoot me an email or leave a comment if you want to be part of the fun, and I'll send you an invite.


In the meantime, check out the site and add it to your feed reader or follow it the way you follow other blogs.  Or not. I'm not the boss of you.

Yet.  Hehehe.

So...how have ya been?

Yeah, I know...it's been some time now.  Did you miss me? I missed you.

Maybe that's a good thing every once in a while.  It's been several weeks since I was posting regularly here on the ole Verdant Dude.  Lots of reasons for that.  Vacation was the reason for at the beginning, but then life intervened in ways that I don't really want to talk about here. Because that's not what I use this space for.  I did, once upon a time.  But I've since decided to keep this site mostly free of my personal life.

But I'm still kicking, don't you worry about me.

So what can I talk about here?  Let's see...BULLET STYLE!!!

• We've done three new episodes of Just Talking to the Cornfield since the last time I've regularly blogged.  The Colonel and I have discussed all kinds of fascinating baseball-related topics.  OK, fascinating to some people.  Pure Hell for others.  Different strokes and all.  Oh, we are on iTunes as well, so look for us there.
  
• There was that vacation I mentioned above. Block Island off the coast of Rhode Island (which isn't really an island at all). That was some fun shit right there. Mostly.  I heartily recommend that place to anyone who enjoys the island life...without having to go all the way to the Caribbean.  
• I've seen a bunch of new stuff on Netflix Instant. Namely French zombie movies.  That's right...French zombie movies.  That would be "zombi" en francais. The Horde was excellent.  Mutants a little less so, but still entertaining.  Oh, those French...
• Saw the new Captain America flick. Man, oh man that was a shitload of fun.  If you like well-done war movies or well-done superhero flicks, then you should check it out.  If you like both...well, run to the theater.  It's that good.  Seriously.
• I've discovered that the best possible use for Catdaddy Carolina Moonshine is to mix it with a splash of OJ and some seltzer.  A Catdaddy Orangina, if you will. It...is...sublime.
• I've read three more Jack Reacher books from Lee Childs.  I'm still having a hard time believing that Tom Cruise might wind up playing him in a feature film.  ::shivers::
• Speaking of Tom Cruise, before the Cap film we saw a trailer for the next Mission Impossible movie. I certainly have issues with Cruise (can he fly yet?), but I did love the first and third entries in the series.  And since JJ Abrams is involved again in this one, along with Jeremy Renner, I'm all in.  Entertainment!

Ugh...that's all I got. Seems I haven't been doing much of anything at all.  Well, anything I want to share with y'all here anyways.  A girl's gotta keep some secrets.  Shhhhhh.

JTTTC New Episode - Tonight at 9PM EST

Back to our regularly scheduled day and time.

Tonight we are gonna get all kinds of nerdish.  Statistically speaking, that is. It all started with a simple question that Rob Neyer posted on his blog.  Given their performances and makeup, would you rather have Tim Lincecum or Clayton Kershaw as your staff ace for the next 3 years. I picked Kershaw because of his stuff, age (23 vs 27) and the fact that he is a lefty.

The Colonel disagreed, and he said he would prefer a top-tier right-handed starter over a top-tier lefty any day.

That's the gist of it, and we are each gonna dive into the stats to try to prove why each of our choices was the proper one.  I'm totally gonna win.

So join us tonight on Talkshoe, or listen to the show tomorrow on iTunes. You know you wanna.

JTTTC - New Episode tonight at 9PM EST

Just because I'm on hiatus from blogging (hey...then what's this?), doesn't mean the radio show can't go on.

So listen in tonight at 9PM EST to hear the Colonel and I discuss the first half of the season that was, and some famous second half meltdowns from the past.  Something all those front-runners this year are going to hope to avoid.

Oh, and then there's this:  

THE PITTSBURGH PIRATES ARE IN FIRST PLACE!

Seriously.  There's no punchline to that statement. Hard to believe.

Join us tonight, won't you?

Still on hiatus

Except for this brief note to tell y'all I'm still on hiatus.  Get it? Got it? Good.

Big laughs? Um....

On a boat

Heading out for vacation, so I may not be around much the next 5 or 6 days.  I know, your loss.

Gia and I are gonna be spending some time with my sister and brother-in-law on their boat over on an island somewheres. Drinking boat drinks, reading trashy novels, getting sun-burned and fishing look to be on the agenda.  And who knows about the wifi situation at the marina we are staying at.

All that's gonna be missing is the pony.

If I Had a Boat

by Lyle Lovett

If I had a boat

I'd go out on the ocean

And if I had a pony

I'd ride him on my boat

And we could all together

Go out on the ocean

Me upon my pony on my boat

If I were Roy Rogers

I'd sure enough be single

I couldn't bring myself to marrying old Dale

It'd just be me and trigger

We'd go riding through them movies

Then we'd buy a boat and on the sea we'd sail

And if I had a boat

I'd go out on the ocean

And if I had a pony

I'd ride him on my boat

And we could all together

Go out on the ocean

Me upon my pony on my boat

The mystery masked man was smart

He got himself a Tonto

'Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free

But Tonto he was smarter

And one day said kemo sabe

Kiss my ass I bought a boat

I'm going out to sea

And if I had a boat

I'd go out on the ocean

And if I had a pony

I'd ride him on my boat

And we could all together

Go out on the ocean

Me upon my pony on my boat

And if I were like lightning

I wouldn't need no sneakers

I'd come and go wherever I would please

And I'd scare 'em by the shade tree

And I'd scare 'em by the light pole

But I would not scare my pony on my boat out on the sea

And if I had a boat

I'd go out on the ocean

And if I had a pony

I'd ride him on my boat

And we could all together

Go out on the ocean

Me upon my pony on my boat

New Episode of JTTTC Thursday night - 9PM EST

Phew!

So we took a little hiatus there.  You missed us, you REALLY missed us!

Geez...you could at least pretend.

Join me and my highly-ranked buddy, the Colonel, as we discuss baseball and its often inter-connected history with alcohol.  A subject suggested by our first (and only, so far) contest winner 2 weeks ago.  Baseball and beer...they go together like baseball and beer. 

C'mon...it's Thursday night in Summertime and that stupid baby-killer trial is over.  What else ya gonna do?

You can listen in live on Talkshoe (you really should) or you can catch the download over there anytime after the show is finished.  Or on iTunes shortly thereafter. 

My Juliet

Happy Birthday to the bestest woman in the world.  I love you, Gia!

Bonus: That video encompasses everything I love and hate about the 1980's. Solid!

The Fog

Had the oddest/coolest Independence Day yesterday.

Woke up early to some iffy weather.  We were supposed to head out to the beach on my sister's boat, but we chilled out for a while until we heard from them since we weren't sure if they were actually going to go.  Turns out they decided to head out early.  And once they got out onto the bay, they encountered a daytime fog that is truly rare around these parts.  Especially during a warm summer day.  Took them forever to get to Davis Park (a beach community on Fire Island).  They were planning on getting a dock slip and then coming back to the mainland to get us, but since it was dangerous boating with all that fog they asked us to take the ferry across and meet them there.

No problem.  Actually met some nice folks on the ferry.  A couple in front of us wanted to pay with their debit card, but the ferry only took cash.  So we gave them the money for the ride and they found a cash machine over at Davis Park to pay us back.  Good karma, I always say.  Then I gave up my seat to an elderly couple because the ferry was standing room only at that point.  Turned out to be my brother's ex-neighbors.  Really nice folks.

But the ride over to the beach was weird.  Total pea soup.  And it was already 11AM at that point.  Never saw a fog like that didn't burn off in the late morning/early afternoon.  It was like those fake clouds/fog that the alien ships used in the film Independence Day to mask their arrival.  Welcome to Earf!

But there was a bit of a breeze and the surf was pounding.  So we headed out to the beach.  I had a bit of a sunburn from lounging in the pool on Saturday, so I was covered up and sunscreened up. Even with all that fog. And the fog just kept on sticking around.  From the beach, you could see the first set of breakers.  But beyond that?  Nothing.  It was really eerie.  And really cool.  My niece and nephews (and Gia) didn't care, they just played in the surf like normal.  They said all they could see of the next wave was a great big shadow in the fog.  Nice!

Finally, around 4:30PM, the fog lifted. And the clouds mostly cleared too.  Excellent.  Because that meant the big fireworks show over the bay would happen as planned.  So we had a bite to eat back on the boat and headed out for the show.  I'm not a big fireworks guy, but the kids (and Gia) loved it.

All in all, a really cool, freaky, weird, eerie, fun day.

Diggin' the scene with a gangster lean...

...woo-ooh-ooh!

Be Thankful For What You've Got

by William DeVaughn

Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac

Gangsta whitewalls

TV antennas in the back

You may not have a car at all

But remember brothers and sisters

You can still stand tall

Just be thankful for what you've got

Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean

Gangsta whitewalls

TV antennas in the back

You may not have a car at all

But remember brothers and sisters

You can still stand tall

Just be thankful for what you've got

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Though you may not drive a great big Cadillac

Gangsta whitewalls

TV antennas in the back

You may not have a car at all

But remember brothers and sisters

You can still stand tall

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

[Instrumental Interlude]

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Diamond in the back, sunroof top

Diggin' the scene

With a gangsta lean, wooh-ooh-ooh

Friday freaky shit

That's Zappa and Beefheart doing what they do. The freaky animation thingy is just a bonus.

Enjoy your holiday weekend, everyone!

Willie the Pimp

by Frank Zappa

I'm a little pimp with my hair gassed back
Pair a khaki pants with my shoe shined black

Got a little lady ... walk the street
Tellin' all the boy that she can't be beat

Twenny dollah bill ( I can set you straight )
Meet me onna corner boy'n don't be late

Man in a suit with a bow-tie neck
Wanna buy a grunt with a third party check

Standin' onna porch of the Lido Hotel
Floozies in the lobby love the way I sell:

HOT MEAT
HOT RATS
HOT CATS
HOT RITZ
HOT ROOTS
HOT SOOTS
HOT ZITZ
HOT MEAT
HOT RATS
HOT CATS
HOT ZITZ
HOT ROOTS
HOT SOOTS