Nov 10, 2008

J.G. Wentworth

Working from home allows me certain liberties.

I can scratch my balls whenever I want. I can work in the nude or as close to nude as the weather permits. I can take my cellphone into the bathroom and participate in a conference call while I am on the shitter.

I've got to be careful of grunting and other related noises with that last one.

One of the biggest liberties that I enjoy while working from home is having cable news playing in the background pretty much all day long. I think I was more informed during this past election cycle than at any other time in my life thanks to background cable news inundation. Some of what they said was even true.

I love the background cable news!

Except for the commercials. I fucking hate the commercials!

Owe money to the IRS? Call here. Suffering from Mesothelioma? They got your back. Want to get rid of that time share? Here you go. Wanna make $5,000 a week working from your home? Wait a minute...what was that number again?

Anyway, the one ad that really gets to me is the J.G. Wentworth commercial. They offer cash upfront for your monthly settlements and/or annuities. That means if you get a monthly/quarterly/yearly amount of cash from a lawsuit, lottery, inheritance or some other financial instrument they will pay you some fraction of the present value of that cash flow upfront if you turn it over to them.

Now, financially speaking, this can be a good idea. At times. Money now is almost always better than money in the future. It depends on the specifics. I know that J.G. Wentworth is making out on the deal. Somehow, someway. Otherwise they wouldn't be in business.

But my questions are as follows: Are there really that many people out there with these kind of future cash flows? Are there that many of those people willing to forego future earnings for money upfront? Does this number of these kind of people with these kind of cash flow problems, and it has to be small, demand that an entire company exists to service them?

Man...I dunno.

Certainly not enough to pay for the sheer multitude of commercials that they run, right? Some of them pretty extravagant. The latest one is an entire opera in one minute. Amazing!

I have a feeling that some of the actors in that commercial take their craft very seriously.

I feel so bad for them right now.


Kaye Waller said...

I love cable news in the background too. Haven't seen this commercial here yet. But then, this is cowboy country.

How do you handle the issue of flushing?

Verdant Earl said...

Steph - I get creative with the "mute" button. ;)

jiggs said...

More like J.G "There went my net worth"! Booyah! Take that you bastards!

Anonymous said...

Dammit Earl, it's my money and I need it now! We obviously have a lot of the same thoughts cause I too have been troubled by this, LOL.

The Trailer Of Love

Dr Zibbs said...

The only commercial/advertising that makes me ask the same question is the one advertising paternity tests. Sheesh.

Miss Britt said...

But if you think about it, advertising is pretty much their ONLY overhead.

Well, that and the lump sum of money - which is basically an investment with guaranteed returns. How many businesses operate on a model GUARANTEED to produce a profit?

RW said...

They give a lump sum that equals about 70 to 80% of the total value of what you would get if you collected periodically, which gives them a clear 20 to 30% profit on YOUR money.

It is a bad, nay STUPID idea to surrender your income to these guys and works very much like a Payday loan - another bad idea.

Think about it, if a company is willing to take your assets over, just maybe that asset is good enough to KEEP? Duh.

The idea is to maintain that income and add to it, not dissipate it. This preys on people's impatience, gullibility, and instinct toward greed. It's a brilliant business plan, but incredibly cynical.

Verdant Earl said...

Jiggs - Always first with the play on words. Nice!

Wil - It's a weird company.

Zibbs - haven't seen many of those. Maybe it's a Pennsylvania thing. :)

Britt - Oh, I understand that. Makes total sense on the part of the company. It's just that I can't believe that there are enough folks out there willing to lose some of their guaranteed income for a portion of it now. Enough to have an entire company devoted to it. And the company is obviously making out on the deal, so why would people do it? Besides desperation. Ick.

RW - I absolutely get it, but...well, see what I said to Britt. We all agree on this one.

Heff said...

I've seen this commercial more than I care to admit.

Faiqa said...

The commercial is extremely effective. I do not have an annuity, but I can't get 877CASHNOW to stop running through my head. Personally, I like the old school Wentworth ad with people sticking their heads out of the window screaming, "It's MY money and I want it NOW." Classy.

Verdant Earl said...

Heff - God Bless DVRs for getting rid of commercials.

Faiqa - I like to kick it old school as often as possible as well. You go girl! ;)

Slyde said...

"CERTAIN liberties"?

you sit around your apartment all day eating chicken pot pie in your underwear, for god sakes!

I tried that here at work one day and i got sent home with a mental health day! how fair is that?

Michelle said...

b.e. as usual i have never seen nor heard of J. G. Wentworth! What is wrong with me???

Or, the better question here is:
What is wrong with you????


Verdant Earl said...

Slyde - I will have you know that I haven't had a chicken pot pie in years. Nor have I worn underwear, but that's another story.

Michelle - The internet isn't a big enough place to answer that last question.

Ookami Snow said...

It doesn't cost that much to advertise on cable, so if they can turn one deal every so often they probably still make a good deal of money.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Did you take your laptop into the shitter when you wrote that?
Just askin

Verdant Earl said...

Ookami - I'd like a five-year business plan with a list of potential customers whenever you get a chance. OK? ;)

Candy - Maybe. My "J" key is sticking for some reason. 1. 2. 3. Ewwwww!

Anonymous said...

Ack! My company is now pushing us to use web cams when we work from home! ACK!

Robin said...

While that "very nice man" from the Countrywide Home Loans commercials is now unemployed (God, he was annoying!), my all-time personal pet-peeve is Billy Mays. No matter how low I adjust the volume, he can still manage to wake the dead.

Fortunately, I work outside the house so I'm not obliged to listen to him all day. I get my news fix during the day from my PDA.

Anyway, with the way everyone sues each other over the slightest transgression, I'm sure J.G. Wentworth is doing a great business.

Kevin McKeever said...

I never have the TV on while I'm working. Interferes with my drinking.

That opera mom looks like she could take down half the St. Louis offensive line.

pure evyl said...

That has to be one ot the worst commercials ever produced.

Verdant Earl said...

1girl4cameras - That would totally ruin my bathroom breaks.

Robin - Billy Mays is a hack! I turn off the tv when he comes on. Do people actually buy from him?

Verdant Earl said...

Always home - you could make a drinking game from some of those commercials. Maybe.

Evyl - And I see it 12 times a day!