Sep 9, 2009

Celebrity News...

...usually sucks.

I'm of the opinion that magazines like People and sites like TMZ just need to go away. Because the fascination/obsession that we in this nation have with celebrities is either stupid or unhealthy. Or some combination of the two.

That being fucking awesome is this story about the San Diego Chargers Shawne Merriman spending 2 hours in jail for allegedly choking the shit out of MySpace whore Tila Tequila?   He says she was intoxicated and he was just trying to prevent her from driving home.  She says that she is allergic to alcohol and that Merriman was acting in a steroid-induced rage. 

A little backstory here:  He has used steroids in the past and she changed her last name from Nguyen to Tequila as a bit of irony.  Or so she claims.

I don't know nothing from nothing, but I do know that I've secretly been fantasizing* for a while now about putting Tila Tequila in a choke hold.  If People or TMZ ran stories about annoying non-celebrities like her getting choked then I could see myself becoming a fan of celebrity news.

Oh, and Happy 09/09/09!

*No actual celebrities have ever been harmed in these fantasies.  I'm not really a violent guy.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. Why is this woman famous?


Lifeofkaylen said...

ugh- I am WITH YOU!!! Who is this girl??? Why do I know her name??

oh--because I watched the Shot at Love show way too much back in the day. And I am pretty sure she drinks in the show. And I'm pretty sure I hate her. All of her.

2abes said...

ahhh, the violent Earl! I think everyone has a secret wish to choke the shit out of at least one celebrity.... alright many celebrities. BTW, I plugged Quarantine into tivo along with The Mist. I am not expecting much from the Mist, not many SK stories on film are any good.

Anonymous said...

I don't like anyone getting physically abused by big football players (or anyone really) but seriously, I've had the same fantasy.

Shhhh, don't tell the other women or I will be banned from the club.

Verdant Earl said...

Kaylen - Those VH1 shows are just plain awful. And you watched some of it? ;)

2abes - I kinda liked The Mist. Thought it worked well as a film. The paranoia, the religious fervor, the "not knowing what's out there". You may be surprised by it.

Hilly - Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. ;)

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Tila who???

Tequilla what???

Zactly the point.

Heff said...

TMZ (as well as the whole E! Network) should be put as painful a manner as possible.

Verdant Earl said...

Candy - such a non-celebrity.

Heff - I agree. Bravo network as well.

Dr Zibbs said...

Those non-celebs make me ill.

hello haha narf said...

did you really say bravo should be put down? TAKE IT BACK! (dude, i fucking LOVE top chef.)

and all i got outta your post was TEQUILA. now i am thirsty. hope you are happy.

Verdant Earl said...

Becky - I don't watch it, but the network seems to have been taken over by the Real Housewives of whatever fucking city they are shooting in nowadays. Ugh. Double ugh. I remember when Bravo was about The West Wing, Inside the Actor's Studio and award-winning Indie films. Before it was infected with Kathy Griffin and her D-list antics. I loathe that channel.

hello haha narf said...

look, i don't watch the hosewhores either, but don't condemn the channel that carries the showcase of delicious looking food and my boyfriend, tom colicchio, dammit!

Verdant Earl said...

Becky - sorry...won't happen again.

(Bravo sucks)

Oops! ;)

sybil law said...

I happen to like that story, too. Now if only someone would prevent that nasty bitch Bai Ling from driving drunk, I'd be happy indeed!
(But really, please no violence whatsoever. I can speak freely here, right?!!)

Verdant Earl said...

Sybil - yeah, but at least Bai Ling is a bonafide celebrity. She was in The Crow!!! And an episode of Lost!!!!! ;)