Apr 8, 2011

Yeah, I go there

I know it might be hard to believe from our semi-anonymous relationship here in East Blogistan, but I have some flaws.

Shocking, I know.

Depending on your own point of view, one of my biggest flaws could be that I constantly use the word "retard".  You might do the same and think that it's not that big of a deal.  Or you could be sitting there in your sexy lingerie (that's how I picture you all) absolutely disgusted with me.  Or maybe you just briefly paused while pleasuring yourself to these words to contemplate the issue.  I understand.

And I've done my fair share of making fun of the mentally handicapped, I'm semi-ashamed to say.  I was in a bowling league several years ago (The Dude can roll), and one of the teams had a woman who we found out was mentally challenged.  I say "found out" because we just thought she was really ugly and stupid at first.  Mean, right?  I caught one of my buddies staring at her one night, and I asked him what was up.  He looks at me and says "Do you think that, around 20 years ago, she looked in the mirror and just said 'Fuck it!'?"  I almost spit my beer in his face, I was laughing so hard.  And that was before we found out she was retarded. 

She also wore the same Tweety Bird t-shirt every bowling night.  Hell, she could have worn it every day for all we knew.  And it seems that the silly t-shirt should be a dead giveaway to being retarded.  There's a retarded woman who works at our local supermarket.  Today she was wearing a red Heinz ketchup t-shirt that read: "I like ketchup on my ketchup".  I smiled, and then I couldn't help but saying the phrase over and over in my head the way she would have said it out loud.

You're doing it right now, aren't you?  If you are, then I embrace you as one of ME.  If not, then I'm sorry.

I have flaws.


Unknown said...

I am definitely one of the flawed.

I am so fed up worth the PC pussy bullshit, I can't stand it.

You know what other "derogatory" word I use? Gay. Yep, I do.

As my parents and grandparents generations had slang words they saw become hurtful and slanderous, I shall see my Sandler level of humor fall way of the extinct.

Ps - the full retard speech in Tropic Thunder was BRILLiant.

Mrs. Hall said...

the thing about wearing something over and over again, it's specific to a developmental age. kids like certain things (clothes toys etc) and will wear or play with them over and over again. it's them learning to like something. but it fades and a new obsession takes over.

as grown ups, we learn to like things. it fades and grows and sometimes morphs into obsession but it returns to like.

retarded people are people who have delayed development. so they never just like stuff, they just get obsessed and hence the t-shirt every day. they don't have the skills to just like something and go on their merry way after awhile.

but really, that's kind of awesome. because everyone is awesome if you dig deep enough.

so i would sing the ketchup song with you Earl. But only if I liked the girl at the supermarket. Because singing the song would be my way of appreciating (or liking) the retarded girl bagging my groceries!


Kaye Waller said...

OMG you got me that time. I was saying it.

Slyde said...

i like semen on my semen....

sybil law said...

I actually said the word "retarded" about 3 times before even reading your post.
And today, while volunteering at the Catholic school, I used God in vain, and 3 kids were like, "it's GOSH!".
Fucking retards.
(But seriously - I shouldn't say it so freely, I know. I am a child of the 80's, though - and I think that's just gay. See? I'm incorrigible.)
The story about the Tweety bird shirt lady is hysterical, but I'm clearly going to Hell, so...

Water Logged Canine said...

You people disgust me.

But what about that retard-strength? They'll rip your arms off and beat you with them...at least that's what I was taught. Or was that Orangutans? Either way.

I hope you know that my lingerie is crotchless. Picture that.

Bruce Johnson said...

Retarded / handicaped people used to freak me out when I was younger. The world I grew up in stigmatized and ostrasized these people, and I followed along.....I was a bad boy.

Now a days, I see these people and interesting with a unique perspective. It is hard to get angry and frustrated at things you can't understand or comprehend. So in many ways I sort of envy them.

What really pisses me off these days, are the people that pass themselves off as supposedly intelligent, that don't have one ounce of common sense. They have not excuse.

hello haha narf said...

i was doing great until doggie had to go and say, "They'll rip your arms off and beat you with them...at least that's what I was taught. Or was that Orangutans? Either way." and now i can't stop laughing. fuck, that hit me hard with laughter.

but now for my comment on what YOU wrote on this here blog of yours: what color is my sexy lingerie in your mind's pictures?

hello haha narf said...

ok, slyde's comment made me laugh, too. dammit.

Slyde said...

there ya go :)

Mrs. Hall said...

Earl has yet to respond.




Pearl said...

If loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Funny post. :-)


Verdant Earl said...

I'm here...I just wanted to let the monkey chorus do their thing. Oooh oooh oooh oooh! ;)