Jul 1, 2009

Bagels and Rock Stars

There are many things that I would miss if I ever moved from this area. But I would have to put great bagels up near the top of that list.

You see, you can't go a mile in any direction around here without running into a bagel shop. And 9 times out of 10, it's a great bagel shop. That's what Long Island does. That's ALL Long Island does!

But there are the random shitty bagel shops that needs to be avoided. Maybe the bagels don't taste as good. Maybe the service sucks. Maybe the person who owns it is a complete asshole.

I know of such a joint. Well, I know of a few. But this is about one that I encountered yesterday. I've been there before and I always come away with the same reaction. Feh. And it always seems like it is much more expensive than your normal bagel joint.  So I try to avoid it.

Yesterday I had to go get some dry cat food at the pet store early in the morning.  I asked Gia if she wanted some coffee and a bagel and she said that she did.  So I was gonna go to the pet store in one direction and then go the bagel shop I like in the other direction.  Even though there was this bad bagel store in the same strip mall as the pet store.  That's how much I normally tried to avoid it.

But in an extreme act of laziness, I decided to just go to bad bagel store instead.  I order 3 bagels, a 1/2 pound of cream cheese and a couple of coffees.  Now, for those of you who aren't aware.  Bagels generally cost around $1.00 - $1.25.  And a 1/2 pound of cream cheese goes for about $4.00.  So I put a twenty on the counter as the asshole who runs the place looks up and says "Um...that'll be $13.00."

Now I place this same order a lot at the bagel store I usually give my business to, and it usually anywhere from $9.00 - $10.00.  What can I say?  Bagel shops are imperfect businesses.  So I'm trying to add it up in my head and I was just gonna let it go.  Then I turned around and looked for a board with prices.  There wasn't any.  So I politely asked "Excuse me, how does that add up to $13.00?"

And he got pissed at me!  Started yelling and slobbering and gesticulating in an incoherent fashion.  I can only assume he was giving me a rundown of what each item cost, but none of it was making sense.  And I was getting mad because he was getting mad at me. And I know I was only getting ripped off by something like $3.00, but it's generally the little things that really get your goat every now and again.  I know that he was just making up whatever price he wanted.  That's why he doesn't post his prices.

So I waved him off, called his shop overpriced, called him a fucking hack (made sense at the time) and stormed out of there.  Never...EVER...to return.

And you know what?  It felt pretty good.  Maybe I just needed to let off a little steam.

On a lighter note, Gia is once again going to be a rock star tonight at this concert.  She has her own solo again this year.  Last year, she brought down the house with a version of "Bad Girls" that kicked ass.  Tonight she will be singing "Be My Baby" by the Ronettes and singing backup vocals for most of the rest of the night.  Maybe an impomptu duet or something as well.  The party goes until almost 4AM.

So if you are reading this when it posts, I will be doing the Old Folks Boogie and celebrating my woman.

If you are reading this sometime during the day on Wednesday, I will be hungover.


Note: Remember to play the Bug-Eyed Trivia Challenge every day. And you know that you're over the hill.  When your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill.


Callie said...

How weird is it that I was just thinking of Little Feet this morning? And you post a link to them tonight?

Dude - it's scary, but we're kinda on the same wavelength.

Get off. Seriously. It's my wave.


Congrats to Gia!

Callie said...

Oops. I suppose that's Little Feat, not Feet.

I need sleep.

Verdant Earl said...

Callie - I believe I saw the wave first. Or felt it. Or something. Me need sleep too!

Anonymous said...

Oh God, my Queens born and bred wife never let's me forget that you just can't get good bagels anywhere but in NY. That and canolis. And then we start arguing about pizza and hot dogs. And "fuckin' dinahs" (diners). I am shipping her back.

Wil Harrison.com

Poppy said...

What bagel establishment do we need to boycott for you, Earl?

Vermont makes incredible Montreal bagels. I adore my bagels thin. *shrug*

2abes said...

LI does have a slew of good bagle shops. My kids have there favorite and can tell if I go anywhere else for them. F that jackass who doesn't post his prices. Unless he's providing such a high quality product that people don't care what the prices are, he's just ripping off people. Congrats to G!

Avitable said...

That's cool about Gia - do you ever have any video of any of this?

I love a good bagel. Can't really eat them anymore, but they're sooo good!

Faiqa said...

I love that you told that guy off. He totally deserved it.

Slyde said...

typical wednesday, then?

Kate said...

I can't think of anything funny to say but that was funny. Fucking hack. I bet you just turned that man into an even eviler bad bagel business man!

Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
savannah said...


seriously, hope the gig was everything y'all wanted and more!

Heff said...

Enjoy your current hangover !

Verdant Earl said...

Wil - I think I luv her! I couldn't live without a good deli or dinah!

Poppy - you know, I don't even know the name of it. But it is on East Main Street in Huntington.

2abes - you might know this guy. He used to run the bagel shop on Rte 110 in Melville up near Chipotle. He's a douche!

Avitable - I am going to see what was shot last night and maybe send it to a few folks. I'll keep you in mind. So sad about the bagels, but it is all for the greater good. Right?

Verdant Earl said...

Faiqa - I dunno if calling him a hack made any sense, but it made me feel good afterward.

Slyde - about.

Kate - He's like the evil Grinch of bagel shop owners.

Savannah - it was the bomb. And no...no hangover today. Just tired. And feeling old.

Heff - I describe it as being hungover, but it really is just feeling tired. I don't get hangovers anymore. I tend to stop drinking when I feel it is getting to that point now that I am in my 40's.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

I haven't been to a bagel shop in like FOREVER. So, you remind me to look one up around here. Because I LOVE THEM SO!

Happy Hangover Hump Day!

marty mankins said...

That just goes to prove that bad bagel shops that sell bad bagels also have bad customer service.

Best to stick with the better shops.

And yes, bagels in NYC are the best.

Barlinnie said...

I'm ashamed to say that I've never eaten a bagel. It's now on my list.

Ookami Snow said...

That settles it, I'll have to get some bagels for lunch.

Dr Zibbs said...

You're lucky. I can't find a great bagel around me. I'm sure that there are some in Philly but that's too far to drive for one bagel.

Miss Britt said...

My favorite thing about NYC is the bagels.

Well, that and the crazy bastards who scream at people over $3.00.

Michelle said...

Brooklyn bagels are actually the best.

The link you posted is not working dude!!

hello haha narf said...

i will cut a bitch for a good bagel. the best joint in town closed years ago and my heart (tastebuds) still cry for it.

Verdant Earl said...

Jenn - but do you get good bagels in MN?

Marty - well, the NYC/LI area. ;)

Jimmy - my bagel of choice is an everything with olive cream cheese. But I'm an odd duck.

Ookami - glad I could be of assistance.

Zibbs - that sux. I would have thought that PA would be close to NY or (gasp) NJ in bagel excellence.

Britt - I will take that as a compliment because I know that is how you meant it. ;)

Becky - You cut that bitch!!!

Verdant Earl said...

Michelle - It was yesterday. Weird. I'll let the kids know. Thanks!