Paper Bag Redux

It's Paper Bag time again.

What's the Paper Bag? Why it's the world's only 70-piece rock band, silly.  A bunch of local musicians who get together once a year to kick off Summer in style with an all-night concert.  They don't all wind up on stage at the same time, of course.  It's a rotating thing.  And Gia is gonna be singing again with the Cheese Calzones.  That probably doesn't make any sense to you...I'm okay with that.  But she has her own solo again this year, and I'm psyched!

You can read all about the show on that link up there or go back to one of my old posts about it.  It's fun stuff.

For now, I'll leave you with one of our recent favorite tunes from Loudon Wainwright III.  This is a good one, kids!

Last Man on Earth

by Loudon Wainwright III

(click the title to play the album or song on Rhapsody)

In the year 2000

my age was 53

born in the first half

of the last century

I always was post-modern

but that's ancient history

Now I'm the last man on Earth

that's what the matter is with me

I guess I'm old fashioned

Retro to a degree

you could say I'm a throw-back

anachronistically

air conditioning is here to stay

and that makes me unhappy

cause I'm the last man on Earth

that's what the matter is with me

I don't have a portfolio

I gotta pleed guilty

the best things are the worthless now

that's just because they're free

and if your not a millionaire yet

boy, you better be

Now, I'm the last man on Earth

that's what the matter is with me

I should be optimistic

and go buy some bonds and stocks

They'll find a cure for Cancer soon

we may get trigger-locks

existence is no picnic

as statistics all have shown

we learn to live together

and then we die alone

everybody's got a website

but that's all Greek to me

I don't own a computer

I hate that letter "e"

I don't pack a cell phone

or drive an SUV

Yes, I'm the last man on Earth

that's what the matter is with me

I'm the last man standing

save the last dance for me

I've taken the last train to Clarksville

I'm the fifth monkey

nice guys always finish last

no one's nicer than me

Yeah, I'm the last man on Earth

That's what the matter is with me

Kid's used to say their prayers at night

before they went to bed

St. John told us that God is love

Nichiei said he was dead

this thing we call existence

who knows what it all means?

Time and Life and People

are just glossy magazines

I sat and watched those guys

debate each other on TV

politicians, wrestlers

they're all the same to me

hey, I don't give a damn

which idiot runs this country

Since I'm the last man on Earth

It don't matter to me

In the year 2000

my age was 53

I know that I'm grumpy

middle-aged crazy

but if you are a woman

you might have to sleep with me

Since I'm the last man on Earth

and I can guarantee

I'm the last man on Earth

and there ain't nothing wrong with me

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. No, I'm the fifth Monkee!

Ice is back with a brand new mission

Probably the dumbest "drinking game" I've ever heard of is this Bros Icing Bros stupidity that all over the place these days. Mind you, I've never heard of anyone I know getting iced. Probably because I would immediately have to kill them and spend the rest of my life in jail. The "bro" crowd is clearly not my social circle.

For the uninitiated, here's a quick rundown. At any time and any place, one of your "bros" can present you with a Smirnoff Ice. The warmer and more disgusting flavor, the better. Then you have to take a knee and chug the offending swill. BUT...if you happen to have your own Smirnoff Ice on your person, then you can counter the "icing", and your "bro" has to take the knee and chug BOTH disgusting malt beverages.

I can't even begin to tell you how quickly I would de-friend a person if they ever tried to "ice" me. Or call me "bro". Thankfully, it looks like this particular viral drinking game is dying a quick death if you read that first link up there. I would have preferred that it went away before I ever heard about it.  Because it just makes hate people even more than I already do.

But I think Daniel Tosh (who is brilliant, by the way) sums it all up best.

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Don't ice me, bro.

Final Girl Film Club: It's Alive (1974)

Note: This post is a part of Stacie Ponder's Final Girl Film Club. She picks 'em, we review 'em.  It's not rocket science, people!


It's Alive is one of those schlocky horror flicks from my youth that I had always thought I had seen.  But as it turns out, I never had.  Not in it's entirety, at least.  I do remember the commercials for it when I was a kid, and they truly scared the bejeebus outta me.  Little did little me know that this was more of a comedy than anything else.  It was a comedy, right?

The fun starts with the wacky hipster Davis couple.  Frank is a slick-dressing, chain-smoking advertising man of the 70's and his wife Lenore is expecting their first baby.  Sure, they thought about abortion, but as the lovable Frank says "Doesn't everybody inquire about it nowadays?  It's just a question of convenience and we decided to have the baby."  Ah...what a card!

Turns out that abortion might have been the way to go as little baby Davis is born with the most adorable set of claws and scary teefusses.  Then the little guy immediately goes samurai on the delivery room staff.  Have you ever seen such a cute baby?  So advanced for such a little guy.  And he doesn't stop there.  Soon he's killing go-go dancers, rock musicians, school teachers, milkmen and some of the dumbest cops ever caught on film.  There is this hilarious scene where the keystone cops surround the kid in a backyard because they heard it crying.  Only it turns out...wacka wacka wacka...IT WAS JUST A NORMAL BABY CRYING!

Ooops! Wrong kid!  Silly keystone cops...

It's a laugh riot!

One of the best lines comes from one of the dumb cops when they spot a blood trail leading into a sewer.  "That's it!  That's how it can travel the length of the city without anyone seeing it!"  So this newborn with the oh-so-funny claws is traveling miles and miles of sewers just to bring the comedy to the entire city?  I don't blame the dumbs cops in this particular situation for not figuring that out right away.  It just seems so unlikely and it may just represent a huge plot-hole in the film.  I wonder if the producers of the film re-thought that line in the edit room?

/sarcasm

OK, so it wasn't a comedy.  I get that now.  But seriously, don't you think it should have been?  From the awful fashions to the awful acting to the awful dialogue to the awful production.  It was just awful.  But also a little bit of fun.  The little monster baby was hilarious to look at the few times they actually showed it to us a little.  Especially peering out of a tunnel in the sewers during the final showdown.  That really made me smile.

And the film did have a message.  Kids are bad and evil and we should stop them.  See?

The 70's were filled with subliminal messages

You learn something.  I learn something.  It's all good.  Even if they were preaching to the choir with this particular message.

But nay readers, I didn't stop there.  No sirreebob!  Because Netflix also had the remake starring Bijou Phillips available for Instant streaming at the time.  This was like a perfect storm of killer baby, er, ness.   No way I was going to be able to go to bed that night without doing a little taste-test comparison.  And I'd love to tell you that it was as craptastic as the original, but no...it really, really sucked.    There was no hint of the goofy over-the-top irony of the first film.  Just a bad CGI devil baby with retractable claws.  And a mother who was much more of an enabler than she should have been.  Sure, maybe you turn a blind eye towards your child escaping the crib once to kill and devour some of the local wildlife.  But after the first time she should have laid down the law.  Lazy parents.

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. "I like children - fried" - W.C. Fields.

A little link love

In proud lazy blogger tradition, I'm gonna continue with my trend this week of pointing you elsewhere in the bloggy world. Because clearly I got nuthin' going on.  And hey, a little link love is always a nice thing to do. Don't you agree?

• The Bronx Banter Blog is a truly wonderful place.  Not only devoted to bringing us news, analysis and fun stuff about the NY Yankees, the kids over there also spend a great deal of time posting about movies, comic-books, food and drink.  These are a few of my favorite things (please sing that like Julie Andrews - Earl).  All week long, they've been talking about Stanley Kubrick films and yesterday they talked about one of my favorites.  The Shining.  Check it out.
• Stacie Ponder over at Final Girl is a good egg.  If only because she realizes that she's not nearly as cool as some of the cooler characters in Horror film history.  Well, she she said that they were "way cooler".  I upped it to "not nearly as cool".  I just like when she blogs about Adrienne Barbeau.  It makes me feel good...in my pants!
• Murph (I guess that's his name) over at MurphGuide just introduced me to my new favorite band.  A local group called Midnight Mob.  Their roots are firmly planted in my youth.  A little Aerosmith, a little Joan Jett/The Runaways, a little T-Rex and a whole lot of Guns & Roses.  Plus a super-cute busty brunette named Blackey belting out the tunes.  I'm old enough to be her father, but daddy likes!
• RW threw down the gauntlet earlier this week.  A challenge for his readers to either affirm or deny that the American experiment has failed.  A little more heady than my usual blog fodder, but he's much smarter than me.  Than I.  See?  I don't even know no good grammar!
• Hank continues to both amuse me and freak me out with his blog of found pictures on the Internet, I've had dreams like that.  I could pretty much link to any of the pictures he posts, but here's one that I found particularly fun.  Dance, baby, dance!  Note: Some of the stuff is NSFW, so he put a content warning on there.
• Erin O'Brien likes to walk around Cleveland and take pictures of the shit sitting on the side of the road.  She also is a big fan of the word 'craptastic'. While walking around the other day, she found the mother lode.  A bunch of boxes sitting in someone's garbage filled with vintage magazines and the like.  All I ever see on the (very rare) occasions I go walking around town is goose shit.  That crap is everywhere!  Hehehe.

That's all I got.  Enjoy your weekends everyone!

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. It's freakin' hot out!

Earl's favorite film scenes: Volume IV

The question is "What is the greatest film ever made?"

The answer, of course, is Big Trouble In Little China

"It's all in the reflexes."

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Jack Burton is a golden god.

Nothing to see here

British DJ due Slyde.  That's not me and not him.  Well, the fella on the right DOES look a bit like him.

Because I'm guest-posting over at Slyde's joint today. Or yesterday. Whenever. The point is, I did a little something for a fellow blogger. To help him celebrate his 5-year Blogoversary.

Kind of like what Adam did for one of his bloggy friends*. But less, ya know, generous and gifty.

*follow that link if you are feeling charitable. - Earl

Truth be told, I've never been a fan of the idea of guest-posting.  Most of the times when a blogger uses guest-posts on their blog, I give it only the briefest of skims.  Maybe something will catch my eye or heart and I'll want to know a little bit more about the guest-poster, but generally...no.  The only reason I'm doing it here is because I started out as a guest-poster on Slyde's blog before I started this little exercise.  A little nod to my own bloggy beginnings.


So go check out Slyde's blog this week.  If you haven't done so already.  What else ya gonna do?  Pick your nose?

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Seriously, picking your nose might be more worth your time.

The Black Rider

Wikipedia synopsis:

Wilhelm, a file clerk, falls in love with a huntsman's daughter. In order to marry, Wilhelm must prove his worth as a hunter and gain her father's approval, but, as "a man of pen and ink", his shot is lousy and his hopes of marriage worsen. That is until he is offered magic bullets by the devil, Pegleg - who assures him that his bullets will always have a sure shot. However, Pegleg stipulates that, while most of the bullets will hit anything Wilhelm pleases, one of the bullets is under Pegleg's control. Foolish, naive, and overrun with desperate hope, Wilhelm accepts the Faustian pact. On the day of Wilhelm's wedding, the final bullet strikes his beloved dead. He then goes mad, and joins the previous victims of Satan's cunning in the Devil's carnival.

I'm just gonna file this under the heading of "Shit I Never Knew About". And given my recent fascination with all things Tom Waits, well...I should have heard about it before now.  Back in the late 80's Tom Waits got together with William S. Burroughs (!!!) and vanguard theater director Robert Wilson to create a Faustian musical fable based on German folktales.

Those must have been some fun times for these cats.  And given Burroughs own history of love lost at his own drug addicted hand, maybe a bit cathartic as well.

And it's something I never would have known about were it not for the Internet.  Oh sure...MAYBE someone would have told me about it eventually.  But there aren't a whole lot of Tom Waits folks in my life right now.  Pity.

This is something that I'm going to get into a little bit later on this week.  About something else that I recently found out about.  Something I should have known about years ago.  But for right now, howabout a three-part documentary on The Black Rider?  Sounds good?

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Willam S. Burroughs!

The Boys

It's been a long time since I've turned in my comic-book geek street cred badge. I stopped reading/collecting close to 15 years ago now. It was an all-consuming passion for me back in the day. And I just gave it up, cold turkey. Much to the chagrin of my hetero life partner. But I've always been like that with my hobbies. Hot and cold.

I try to keep up with some of the comic-book storylines via the web. On the down low, ya know. Just because...just for scuz. But about a month ago, I made my very first comic-book related purchase in a long, long while. A collected edition of the first six issues of The Boys, by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson.

It's about a group of super-powered operatives working for the CIA who, urm, handle certain problems with a world in which sometimes superheroes need to be put down. And, as you would expect from Garth Ennis, it's super-violent and nasty in brilliant ways. The artwork by Robertson is pretty wonderful too. Even Gia loved it. I'm definitely going to do some catch-up work on the series, as most of it has been reprinted in collections as they do these days in the biz.

And now there is word that Adam McKay of Anchorman, Step-Brothers and Talladega Nights fame may be helming a film adaptation of the series. I'm down with that. As long as he doesn't recruit Will Ferrel to play Butcher. Yikes!

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Will Ferrell will ruin this film.

Picture Book

Just a few photos taken from my cell phone over the past week or so. Not the clearest or best pics in the world, but they make me smile.

Made some Spaghetti con Pomodorini, Basilico e Pancetta for Gia and I last night. Used yellow, green and red heirloom tomatoes this time around. Awe...wait for it...some!

Earlier in the week, I made a batch of Green Chicken/White Bean Chili for us.  I wasn't able to procure any tomatillos, so I used some yellow tomatoes I found along with some regular old red ones.  Not enough to change the color too much, and it came out yummy.

Then there are the requisite kitty pictures.  Here's Bootsy in his daytime nap position on the floor.  He's looking like a throw rug except that's he much softer when you step on him.

And then there's Gogo...one of the twins.  I don't really know what to say about Gogo.  We still haven't captured a real good picture of her.  Because she's always moving around, ya see.  And those eyes?  Yeah, always wide open like that.  She's a beautiful mess.  Hair coming out of everywhere.  Always disheveled.  We have no idea what she is, but she's our little Gogo.

And finally we have Large Marge racing her motorized scooter/wheelchair down a busy road in a real busy area.  This one is hard to see, so it might be worth your while to click on it to see a bigger version.  It's so worth it.

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. I'm going to Hell for taking that last picture.

The Not-So-Evil Eye

A couple of days ago, I was watching the Yankee game with Gia and her father. More accurately, we were watching the Yankee pre-game show on the YES Network. We were in the middle of some conversation when John Flaherty, former MLB catcher and current YES Network on-air personality, popped up on the screen. This guy:

John Flaherty is the guy on the right.

I mentioned how it looks like Flaherty has had some work done.  Something around the eyes or maybe just a chemical peel or something.  He was real, real shiny that day.  Like he was freshly scrubbed with a pumice stone.

Then this conversation took place:

Gia: "Oh shit!  Looks like he's got the Heene."
Me: "What?  Like he's got the what?"
Gia: "The Heenies.  The fucked-up eyes!  Look at him!"
Her Dad: "Yeah...definitely da Heenie Goblatz on dat guy."
Me: "....."
Them: laughing

I have no idea what the fuck they were talking about.  Gia and her family have a mix of Spanish, German, Italian and Irish in 'em, so I figured it was an ethnic thing.  Sounded Yiddish to me, actually.  And who knows where people pick shit up.

Now I didn't want to seem ill-informed or ignorant, so I just let the comment slide.  I had no idea what the Heenie Goblatz was.  I was guessing it was the Evil Eye or something.  A curse or just a fucked-up way of saying someone has fucked-up eyes.  What do I know?  I'm third-generation Irish from both sides of my family.  We didn't have the Evil Eye.  Except for that look that my grandmother used to give me sometimes.  ::shivers::

Anyway, like I do, I couldn't let this one slip away.  So I had to look it up on the Web.  Nope...nothing on the Heenie Goblatz.  Then again, I could have been spelling it wrong.  Coblatz, Koblatz, Heene, Heeny....nope...nothing.

So I looked up the Evil Eye instead.  Maybe work backwards.  Found lots of good stuff too. Lots of different words and expressions for it in lots of different languages. Just nothing in any language that could possibly be pronounced like the way they were pronouncing it.

So I finally gave up and asked Gia about it. She immediately started laughing, explaining that the Heene family (pronounced he-knee) were neighbors when she was growing up and they all had fucked-up eyes. Hence the Heenies. The last part was just a nonsense add-on that her father made up. And there you have it.

The Heenie Goblatz.

Sometimes it's better to just ask right away rather than wasting a night on Wikipedia and the like.

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Dat guy does have the Heenies!

On Writing...Well

This is a tough one, and I'm not exactly sure what point I wanna make here.

I read something the other day from a certain sports journalist that I admire. He was giving advice to young bloggers who wanted to get in the game. And by "get in the game", I mean that these young bloggers might actually want to make a living from doing this at some point in the future. Because as we all know, anyone can be a blogger.

He was pretty harsh on this one particular young man who was inquiring about a blogging gig. At first saying all the right things. "Start writing. Keep writing. Write because you love it. Practice makes perfect." That kind of thing. But he wrapped it up by telling this guy that he probably doesn't have the writing chops to join his merry band of journalists. Without reading anything more than a brief email from the guy, mind you.

Now, that's probably true. I can't imagine that it's easy writing for a living, even though many of us have dreamed that little dream. But this seemed like an unnecessarily cold way of saying it. He then followed it up with a tweet (yes, I'm on Twitter...barely) jokingly urging that we all give up on blogging for one year until we all learn or re-learn how to write.  He included himself in that mini-rant, in case you were wondering.  Still...

I don't know.  I guess it should bother us when someone is paid to write about a subject that we love, and then they proceed to do it poorly.  But when it comes to something like sports, I'm not always looking for Hemingway.  Sometimes I just want the facts, some good analysis or a funny quip.  A lot of times, that's ALL I'm looking for.  There are times when I stumble across something on a blog that I consider to be extremely well-read, and I will almost always pass that on to my friends.  But most of the time, I'm not in it for the art.

That's a tough thing right there to admit.  Most times, I just don't care.

I feel extremely lucky to have found most of you.  Ye bloggers extraordinaire on my feed reader, that is.  I consider a bunch of you to be excellent writers and good eggs all around.  Much better writers than I.  And there was a time when I wanted to be a better writer.  One of the reasons I started this blog was to do exactly that.  Write better. 

But along the way, I've become more comfortable with my voice.  I try to interact with this here blog the way I interact with the world.  Writing the way I speak, generally.  Sure, sometimes I try to put on airs.  Right there...see?  I never say "put on airs" in real life.  But more often than not, what you see here is what usually comes out of my mouth.  Foul language and all.  Maybe a little spittle too.

And I'm fine with that.  I don't believe I have the discipline to write better, is the thing.  Sure it would be nice, but I'm just too lazy.  And I'm fairly happy with what I do here on a mostly daily basis.  Even the lazy video posts and crap I steal from other sites.   Borrow...I mean borrow.

Besides, it's not like I'm looking to get paid for what I do here.  I'm doing it because I still consider to to be worth my time.  A fun little hobby.  Yeah, sometimes I wish I were a better boyfriend, friend, son, brother, uncle or magician*.  Maybe one day I will be all of those things.  And maybe one day I will become (or at least try to become) a better writer.

But right now?  Aw...fuck it.

*I don't even know one single magic trick.  The only way to go here is up!

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. See?  Even I don't know what my point was there.

The Zombie Code

Clicken ze biggen

Well, I've always heard that the Zombie Apocalypse was inevitable.  I just didn't think it was gonna be first reported on Newsweek.com.  Go on...check it out.  I'll be right here.

What?  You clicked on that link and you got some different headlines?  No zombies?

Oh yeah, I forgot.  You have to enter the Konami Code to get the secret story page.  That would be Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Enter.  Huh?  Yeah...looks like video game geeks are taking over website design pages and leaving little Easter Eggs.  Seems like a natural progression.  And it's not just Newsweek.  Marvel.com has, um, something that can be accessed thru the Konami Code as well.

UPDATE: It's not working on Newsweek's site anymore.  Heh heh.  But look...I caught a screen grab of it for you up there! - Earl

Well, it looks like we once again have to put off the inevitable.  I'm thankful.  I wasn't quite ready for it.  Still building up my anti-zombie fortifications.  I need some time.  It's gonna be awesome when I'm done.

PS - Saw this on io9 today.  So a hearty round of applesauce goes out to them. 

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Gamers are running the world!

The Sunset Ramble

So Gia and I have a new favorite habit. Something to help us unwind on Friday evenings after a long week of dealing with humanity and each other. We make sure we are both done with our respective days by around 5:30PM  or so, and we retire to the patio out back for some cool tunes and even cooler brews. Gia sets up the iPod with an interesting playlist. I let her do it, because...well, she's a whole lot cooler than I could ever hope to be. Then we sit by the harbor and just...exist. It's pretty sweet.

We call it...the Sunset Ramble.

The foot is mine.  The Mini belongs to Gia.  The Lincoln to a neighbor.

Named in honor of one of Gia's hero, Levon Helm - who runs his own Midnight Ramble at his joint in Woodstock just about every Friday night - all that is needed for the Sunset Ramble is your own place and time, some good tunes and the cold beverage of your choice.  This past Friday, we went with a selection of The Band (naturally), Tom Waits (a current favorite), Amy Winehouse, Frank Sinatra, Tony Bennett, Loudon Wainwright III, Nina Simone, Steely Dan, The Andrew Sisters, Adele, Stevie Wonder, Marah, Kings of Leon and many, many, many others.  Our beverages of choice were a couple of canned beers named Hell or High Watermelon and Dale's Pale Ale.  Canned beer just seemed to naturally go along with the whole white-trash vibe we were going with.


So why don't you join us one of these Friday night?

Um, I don't mean that you should actually come over to our house and drink our beer.  That would be weird.  And a little rude.  No, I mean that you should set up your own Sunset Ramble with your own loved ones.  Play some of your own music...stuff that you are really into.  Serve some of your own beverages...alcoholic or otherwise.  Invite some friends, or just hang with your honey.  Or by yourself.  The Sunset Ramble has no rules or restrictions.

Except your own.  And feel free to break those at any time.  It's the Sunset Ramble, bitches!

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Gia rocks!

Music Video Fridays: Apropos of Nothing

Peter Gabriel - Washing of the Water

Little Feat - Willin'

Nirvana - Love Buzz (Bonus: This is a clip of Dave Grohl's first ever performance with the band in 1990. Neat!)

And this one isn't a song or anything, just a clip from Wayne Wang's wonderfully improvised film Blue in the Face. A companion film, as it were, to his more scripted film Smoke.  Lou Reed and Jim Jarmusch rule so very fucking much.

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Weed, whites and wine.

The Bridgewater Triangle

I love me some shit like this.

Clicky Clicky to Biggy Biggy

Horrors straight outta the X-Files or H.P. Lovecraft's twisted mind.  That's what has supposedly been going on in this sleepy corner of southeastern Massachussets for several hundred years now.  And just like a certain sly Fox Mulder, I wanna believe.

Of course, I've never actually seen any of this crap with my own ocular appendages, ya see.  But I'm on the lookout for some stuff.  Oh yeah.  Every single time I'm out at night, I usually take a few moments to scour the skies.  Looking for one of them UFOs maybe.  The way I figure it, there's gotta be some intelligent life out there somewhere.  No way we can be the smartest eggs in the basket.  We seem to prove that every day.

Then there are the ghosties, goblins, black helicopters, giant serpents and Bigfeet (Bigfoots?) going on in that area.  I ain't never seen me any of them things neither.  I stayed with some friends in Boston once.  They were renting the upstairs apartment of this great old place that had been around since before the American Revolution.  They had converted the attic into a spare bedroom, and that's where I was gonna be staying.  Right before I turned in for the night, my buddy tells me "Oh, by the way...that room is haunted by ghost.  Some British Colonel or something who died in the Revolutionary War.  He seems pretty harmless though.  Good night!"  That's a helluva thing to throw at someone's psyche right before they go to bed.  In case you are wondering, I didn't see shit that night.  Didn't sleep well either, but that's only because it's not easy sleeping with your eyes open. 

So I'm always glued to the web when a new story about an old beastie comes to light.  And I'm hoping that one of these times we get some definitive proof about a giant lizard swimming in an ancient loch or a super-sized man-ape living in the woods of Kentucky or a mysterious sea monster that washes up on a beach in South America.

Because I wanna believe. 

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Do you believe?

Phenom

Future Hall of Famer Stephen Strasburg (I'm only kidding a little bit here)

Well, he was everything he was supposed to be.  And frankly, quite a bit more.  Sure, he threw that one mistake to Delwyn Young, but otherwise...he was awesome!  100 mph fastball with movement.  A curveball that mere mortals can only bend with a wiffle ball.  And a change-up that just disappeared into the catcher's mitt leaving the hitters shaking their heads.  After it was all said and done, 7 innings pitched, 2 earned runs, 14 strikeouts (!!!) and zero, as in none, walks.

This guy is good!

Read all about it here or here or here. 

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Too bad he pitches for the Nats.

Mmmm....meaty!

Today's post is chock full of tasty and meaty hot links. Just like my pants! Ahem.

• I can't stop staring at these incredibly ingenious photo-shopped images of Keanu Reeves eating everything.  It's just so brilliant...and dingy...and sad.  I would totally watch that movie.  Especially the surreal ending.  All your arguments are indeed invalid.
• Ya ever wonder if your memory ain't as grand as ya think it is?  How about those of us who swear that we have seen the infamous "In the butt, Bob" moment on The Newlywed Game?  OK, that might have happened, but not the way many of us older folks remember it.  Yeah, looks like our memory is being affected by some serious misinformation these days.  And it's only going to get more muddled the older we get.  
• So the new iPhone 4 was announced yesterday.  I greet that news with a giant and enthusiastic yawn.  I'll get excited about the next Apple product when they announce that it can become self-aware and blow me when I do nice things for it.  Even Gia, who is a self-proclaimed Apple Ho*, was thoroughly underwhelmed.  She's gonna stick with her current iPhone for now, and I'm going to stay blissfully away from the smart phone market.  Until that fellatio app becomes available, of course.  And even then it's gonna need a pretty fucking huge port to accommodate me, amirite? 
• Calvin and Hobbes was either my favorite or second favorite (after Bloom County) comic-strip back in the day.  But Calvin Minus Hobbes paints an altogether different vision of that kid.  Now he just seems lonely and...well, a little disturbed.  Is it weird that I like these almost as much as the originals?
• I know there are a couple of baseball fans out there (::chirp chirp::), and if you are anything like me then you are stoked to see this Stephen Strasburg kid pitch his first major league game tonight.  And if you really want to get even more stoked, then go here and read Joe Posnanski's take on the impact of his arrival to the bigs.  Psst...if you are a baseball fan (::chirp chirp::) then you should already be reading Joe's blog.  He's a great writer and a great fan of the game.
• I wasn't even going to mention this, because I kinda hate the guy.  But I've always said that Tom Cruise, no matter how you feel about him as an acto, as a role model or as blinking crazy man, absolutely jumps into every single role he plays with two great big crazy feet.  His bit the other night on the MTV Movie Awards was no exception.  I don't find it funny at all, but it did make me stop and stare for a little while with a stupid look on my face.  Kinda how I look whenever I read any of your blogs, really.  Kinda how you look right now reading this crap.  Hi!

*Seriously, how cool is it that Dave2's "Apple Whore" image is the very first thing that pops up under a Google image search for Apple Whore?

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Did you get the hot links joke up there?  I meant cock...get it?

Up On Cripple Creek

Gia has told me repeatedly that she would gladly cheat on me with Levon Helm. But not today's Levon Helm. No, she would need a working time machine so she could go back to the early 1970's or so to mess around with THAT guy.

I think I'm okay with that.  Maybe it has something to do with the sci-fi angle.

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Don't blame me if it sucks.

Sunset with Wolowitz

Our ultra-curious cat, Wolowitz, likes to be taken outside on occasion.  We have indoor cats, and we wanna keep it that way, but he is really, really good about being held outdoors.  So we take him for a stroll in the backyard every once in a while and it makes him happy.  He doesn't even try to run away or jump down.  He's content just being held in my arms and checking out the scenery.

And boy oh boy, did we have some great scenery the other night!  Check out that sky!

This pic was taken about an hour after a series of thunderstorms swept through the area.  And it really doesn't do the sky justice at all.  Everything was washed in weird orange and purple light.  Very awesome.

We're headed to Montauk for the weekend.  Y'all have a good one!

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. Cats rule...dogs drool.

Welcome to the Hellmouth

It's been several years since Buffy (with a big assist from Spike and the rest of the gang) closed the Hellmouth in Sunnydale. There have been stories of another Hellmouth opening up in Cleveland, but those have been mostly unsubstantiated.

Now it looks like a new Hellmouth has opened in Guatemala City.

This photo looks so fake that I hard a hard time believing it wasn't photo-shopped.  But it's not.  There are plenty of other photos out there on the web of this giant sinkhole that opened up after a tropical storm hit Guatemala a few days ago, but this one is the most impressive.  And although it looks like it goes straight to Hell (and it might), it's "only" around 200 feet deep.

These sinkholes are a not-so-rare occurrence given the topography and poor construction/city planning in that area. Thankfully, no one was hurt when this particular sinkhole/Hellmouth opened up, but there have been fatalities in that city due to sinkholes in the past. Most recently in 2007.

And since no one was hurt in this particular one, all I can say is...how fucking cool is that?

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. "From beneath you, it devours."

Pussies

Note: I don't have kids, I don't plan on having kids and I have never, ever wanted kids at any point in my life. They are perfectly lovely animals. Like mako sharks or porcupines or those tiny fish in the Amazon that swim up your pee-hole to lay eggs. Perfectly lovely. I just don't wanna cuddle with any of them, ya know what I mean? This level of disdain I have allows me to say awful things about kids. Maybe your kids. Hey, I know you love them. I get it (I really don't). They are just not my particular brand of tequila. So...you have been warned. - Earl

Kids today are a bunch of fucking pussies.

And you know what? It really isn't their fault. It's probably YOUR fault. Or OUR fault, as a society. As I belong to the non-breeding portion of society, I'm gonna go ahead and defer the blame to you, if that's all right. Makes me sleep easier at night.

But man oh man, kids today bug the crap out of me.

I was heading to the post office last week along a typical stretch of suburban road. Grid-like streets criss-crossing each other at specific intervals. All-way stop signs at each intersection. Pretty standard for many neighborhoods on Long Island. And I got behind a school bus letting dropping kids home from some nearby elementary school.

This fucking school bus stopped at every fucking driveway on this road to drop these mewling pussified kids off to their mothers or fathers or grandparents waiting for them at the side of the road. EVERY FUCKING DRIVEWAY! What the hell happened to bus stops? When I was growing up, we had a bus stop that was about 4 blocks away. Kids from all over the neighborhood gathered at that spot on that corner for the bus to pick us up. We didn't get fucking door-to-door service. What the hell is that all about?

I even saw two mothers chatting in one driveway a bit past where the bus was letting some little bastard off, and the one mother pointed at the bus, said her quick goodbyes and literally ran to her own driveway just steps away. So she could be there when her brat got dropped off 100 feet from where she was just standing 10 seconds ago. I couldn't believe my eyes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...I can sense you shaking your fucking heads out there (I really can). "But Earl, it's a different world now. Dangers around every corner. Pedophiles. Drugs. Slyde." I've heard it all and I don't fucking believe it. That shit was around when we grew up too. That's why we traveled in packs. Like hyenas.  Fine...you want to be there when your kid gets dropped off at school, then do it. Just fucking do it at a bus stop that is a little further away then the end of your fucking driveway.

I think this is about control.  It's just one more way to control every little facet of your demon spawn's miserable little lives.  I think it's about YOU, not THEM.  That's why I don't blame the little fuck-wads themselves.  I blame you.  Maybe that's unfair.  Maybe I'm talking out of my ass.  Maybe my point of view is skewed.

All I know is that you are making little Sammy or Belinda into a goddamn pussy. AND you are fucking up my trip to the post office!

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. But I'm sure your kids are just wonderful.

An Angel Of All Angels

This first video hit the web a couple of weeks ago. It features Chris Klein, a really bad actor, auditioning for a role in the film adaptation of Mamma Mia. Now, I have no idea whether or not it's actually real. It was pulled from most sites without a word from his publicist. The guy's career has really gone down the toilet in the past ten years, so I wouldn't put it past them to put this out as some kind of publicity stunt. Just to get his name bandied about. Except that he REALLY seems coked-out to me. Here...you decide.

So real or not real...who really knows? Who really cares? I'm fascinated by it! I think I've watched it around 20 times now, and it keeps getting funnier...every time I watch it!

Well, Klein and the gang at Funny Or Die have came out with a video response to the supposed leaked audition tape last week. And...wow, I can't believe I'm saying this...it was actually kinda funny. Again...you decide.

Chris Klein: More Leaked Auditions from Chris Klein

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Note: Remember to play the Badgerdaddy Trivia Challenge every day. I beg of youuuuuuuu!!!